Just Make a Decision Already!

The design on this magnet is the one I’d like to use for our wedding invitations

Clearly, I love my fiance dearly. I wouldn’t be marrying him if that weren’t the case. Sometimes though, I find him a bit trying. For example, I get a little frustrated when quick trips to the grocery store for taco stuff and beer turn into hour long excursions because he has to wander down every aisle and can’t decide if he’s more inย  the mood for Dos Equis or Landshark beer.

It’s also becoming a bit of a frustration for me in with wedding planning. I want him to be involved, and he has come up with some great ideas. When I ask his opinion on things though, he hems and haws and never actually tells me anything. Part of it is the “it’s your wedding” thing and part is indecisiveness on his part. As far as I’m concerned though, it’s OUR wedding, I value his opinion, and, perhaps most of all, I don’t want to be responsible for every freaking decision.

Let’s jump to the most recent issue – wedding invitations. I have to have these designed and ordered by June 5 because that’s when my Living Social deal for Vistaprint expires. I came up with two variations of the Keep Calm and Marry On design above – one with the crown and one with a Tardis. Now he’s saying that it might be too kitschy and people might not get it. Has he offered any other solutions though? Of course not. He’s a good artist – why doesn’t he come up with a new design?

The other issue is that things aren’t getting done. He’s come up with a lot of awesome ideas, but they’re all still just ideas. I think part of that is because he thinks that four months is more than enough time to get everything done. He’s right that four months is enough time, but if he leaves everything until the last month it’s going to be bad.

What’s the best way to approach this? Should I just assume he doesn’t want to be that involved and I’m going to do it all myself one way or the other?

And most importantly for the moment, what should I do about the invitations? Should I scrap the design and start over? If so, what kind of design should I go with instead?


10 thoughts on “Just Make a Decision Already!

  1. Don’t worry! That’s just the way they are. Mine waited until the VERY last minute to do anything I asked him to do. It often didn’t end up the way I had hoped because he didn’t put the time/energy I needed him to put into it. He also watched me stress over all of the decorations and planning and only rarely helped and complained the whole time he did… he messed up a few invitations too ๐Ÿ™‚ But I was appreciative of whatever input/help I received even if it was rare…

    He suffers from the same indecisiveness as yours – what should be short grocery trips turn into really long ones because he can’t decide what he wants. Then he doesn’t like my suggestions when I try to push the decisions a little more quickly ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I did my own wedding as well, and my now ex had no input. I planned everything. Couldn’t even get him to help me with invitations. So, be thankful he is helping. That is a good sign. Good luck with everything! I have no idea how to get a guy to help, except to start them young. My 9 year old does chores around the house when I am neck deep in crochet projects. I just have to ask. He will make some woman a wonderful husband.

    And I don’t think the Tardis idea is kitschy. I love when couples have a common interest and incorporate it into their wedding.

    1. Thanks for the input. I’m glad that my fiance is as involved as he is, his indecisiveness just gets a little frustrating sometimes. He’s so good about helping with other things (fixing my car, cleaning, cooking, etc), he just isn’t so great when decisions are involved. It’s good that your son is off to a good start ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Men! Gadget would put everything off too, although if I give him a limited number of options he will usually make a decision. How do you get him to make decisions about other things? I know if I’m around he won’t make a decision because he feels pressured, so I have to give him the info then go away and leave him to look at it. He’s the same with holidays as he is with the wedding!
    And I’m suspicious that there is maybe one or two people who he is specifically worried won’t like the invite?
    I’m giving Gadget one task at a time but trying to put a deadline on it, and give him a place to start. So far it’s working ok-ish!

    1. I don’t think it’s about specific people, but maybe I should ask him just to make sure. I think I’m going to start giving my fiance deadlines too, starting tonight. I think I’m just going to tell him that while I love him and respect his opinions, we need to decide about the invitations by the 30th, and if he doesn’t come up with something else by then, we’re going with the design we have.

  4. If I waited for my fiance to actually ‘do’ something for the wedding, we would have nothing done. He also talks a lot and has ideas coming out of you know where…but does he ever follow through? No. I say just pick what you like and go for it. He will be happy that you made a decision and things got done.

    1. Haha. Perhaps that will be the course I’ll have to take if things are going to happen. I’d love to have his opinion, but getting things done is kinda paramount at this point.

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